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No – not as in goodbye, but as in – oh dear, how did it become so long since I last posted?!

I’ve had so much going on and then simultaneously nothing new either. It’s been a consistent cycle of the same old TTC ups and downs, and with the additional bonus of immigration worries. Additionally, we have no internet in our actual home and use data from off our mobile phones, in fact a lot of my posts have been done on my iPhone (I know, I know – the commitment!) However, since 4th of Feb we have had major phone coverage issues, so we haven’t been able to use the internet at home at all. Which is also why I’ve hardly been commenting on your blogs, although I do try to update the reader on my phone when I’m in the city so I can at least read them.

So here, in list form, is the last month or so of Ups and Downs:

Up:

Late Jan – Manaaki (our donor) gets a work offer and falls in love with one of our good friends – which could result in both a work and a partnership visa. Both meaning the pressure would be off to TTC before he has to leave in Feb 2013.

Down:

Turns out the work offer wasn’t what we thought it was, and Manaaki didn’t look for a back up plan. The job looks like it wont pan out, and the date Manaaki has to leave looms large (21 Feb 2013). This gives us one last (stressful) try with actual ovulation due the date he will fly out.

Up:

We have submitted a visa extension application with plenty of time for Immigration to decide (30 days), when it took only 4 days for a decision last time he was here. We apply for a 3 month extension (which would give us 3 more tries) then realise that he can’t stay that long in total on a regular visitor visa, so amend it to give us just one additional try, but it’s better than nothing.

Down:

Turns out that since it is peak visitor season, it takes 30 days minimum for Immigration to process applications. If we change his (round-the-world flights) it will cost a LOT. We get to the day before we need to change his flights…3 working days out from his date of departure and…

Up:

His visa extension request to the 1 April is approved! That gives us one additional try. We also decide to keep pursuing the work visa application even though it doesn’t look hopeful, and the relationship one. Additional up – the flight changes weren’t as expensive as we thought. Additional up number 2, I have a great cycle and am on proper progesterone (instead of a homeopathic version) and my temps go through the roof and my boobs are hugely huge and so sore and my period doesn’t come…

Down:

Until my period does come when I stop taking the progesterone. After 3 BFN’s we realise that the progesterone tricked us. Get very sad with only one more try possible. We have the one year anniversary of our second loss. Things seem pretty hopeless.

Also, we help Manaaki to put in the work visa application, and as suspected it’s immediately returned due to insufficient information (not our fault, the cafe owner is a doofus which is why we didn’t think it was going to work out).

Up:

Starting to feel more relaxed about it all. It’s as though, since it seems we only have this one last chance, I just let go of freaking out.

Down:

Manaaki arrives back to our place after another month in the South with his lady-love to deliver the sad news that it’s not going to work out with them. Long story.

Up:

This cycle is feeling really good, I’m relaxed and strangely calm. My mucus signs are most excellent and we figure Manaaki’s sperm should be at its peak after 6 months of healthy food, a zillion supplements etc.

Manaaki seems to perhaps be working out with his lady, and we are gathering information for the relationship visa in the hope they may decide to go ahead with it. We’ll submit it next week and if they accept it enough to process it he will get an interim visa extension.

The cafe owner seems to be following up with Immigration and providing the information required for the work visa. This would also warrant an interim visa extension while they access it, if he provides the info they want.

Down:

Manaaki is due to leave on the 1 April – in just 11 days from today. There is little time to submit the second visa applications. The cost of changing his flights back to this date at short notice is going to be huge.

We’ll be testing his sperm again next week as we haven’t done that since Dec 11, if it’s no good for IUI and he has to return home then we will need to reassess if we need to find a new donor. I am very sad about this as I really, really, really want to carry a baby again that has my wife’s DNA combined with mine. Since I’ve felt that twice already, it will be a hard thing to let go of.

Up:

We have 3 more inseminations booked for this week and we are feeling positive and happy about this chance to try again for our Caribbean bebe.

I just managed to post on my blog again!

So, consider yourselves updated!!

PS – Any comments would be gladly accepted. Not I deserve a reward after so much silence. I’m hoping the theory of ‘Treat em mean, keep em keen’ applies to blog writing as well as dysfunctional relationships. xx

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