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I just wrote a long post on my phone and then accidentally deleted it. A week or so ago my phone app was doing this nifty wee autosave function. But of course now it’s not. Typical.

So here’s the post in a nutshell:

After 3 bfn’s and spotting today it’s clear that I’m not pregnant.

So you remember that parsley plant my Nana gave me? Well I think I’m going to put it in the food processor and make Salsa Verde.

Manaaki left on a jet plane yesterday. We have no idea when / if he’ll be able to come back due to visa issues and also financially as we are now exceedingly broke after all the flights, treatments, supplements etc.

We are broken a little bit more than before.

My wife continues to be amazing. Somehow we feel stronger than ever and we are so blessed for that.

Next week is our first child’s due date. The week after is Mothers Day.
The following weekend is our niece’s 1st birthday party.

I’m feeling more than a little sorry for myself and for us, so I intend to wallow in it for an unspecified number of days, eating Whittakers Peanut Butter chocolate direct from the freezer, baking sweet stuff, burying myself in my kindle and browsing the Internet looking at puppies to buy.

Here’s the photo I hoped to post of us with a BFP announcement. It’s one from my birthday when the wife said she thought I had that pregnant glow on (that she noticed in my first pregnancy way early). I guess I glow with happiness just at the thought that I could be making a baby. Sadly it wasn’t right this time.