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So I did it, I asked my SIL & bro if they wanted to come. I saw her and the wee missy at lunchtime briefly, but I chickened out asking her in person. So I sent the following text to both of them tonight:

Hi, on Fri ***** & I gonna have a cake to acknowledge what shldve been our baby’s 1st birthday. We don’t plan to do it every year, just this one to kind of commemorate the end of a really hard year. Do you 3 want to come? If yes, what time suits you? Xx

It took them quite a while to reply. Then SIL texted back ‘we’ll come’ and a suggested time. So yay. Not an effusive response but still a yes.

Thanks so much to all of you for your support and advice. I’ll reply to the comments tomorrow.

Goodnight from (still) rainy NZ.