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Sorry for no update in so long. To be honest I haven’t had much to write about. Plus Toku worked her 12th day in a row today (averaging 8hr days with a few trips to the city too, which adds 3hrs driving to the score). She’s supposed to work 3 days a week, but an idiot colleague has stuffed up a project, so she’s in rescue mode. She’ll be tied up with it till next Friday most likely, then we hope to take a few days off and perhaps go away. So I’ve been busy being a dutiful wife making sure she’s fed and warm etc. We are also 5 days into a month long detox, so the cooking takes some preparation and planning.

Horopito (our niece’s) first birthday came and went last weekend. I was a bit of a mess on the morning, dreading going and worrying someone would say something that would set me off. I didn’t want to end up in tears in front of stacks of people. But in reality, it was just fine. The wife stuck close by me and I was a bit quiet but no melt downs. Phew!

Now as for the one star? Well I went to see our GP today to get some more thyroid drugs, order more blood tests and, most importantly, to see if he’d refer us for an assessment for publically funded IVF.

I wasn’t sure if he’d be keen as he needed to verify in writing that we’d had 12 attempts. We’ve actually had 11, but I figured he’d not notice the 1 cycle discrepancy. However, what I thought he’d have an issue with is the fact that those 12 months are supposed to be calculated after your last pregnant. So he shouldn’t have included the 4 attempts that resulted in our two pregnancies. Plus, I’ve only been seeing him post the MC’s, so he wasn’t our doctor for the first 4 attempts.

Therefore I thought I would need to really argue our case with him and see if I could appeal to his kind side to allow us to ‘fudge it’ and include those attempts. Otherwise we’d need to try 4 or 5 more times to get the magic number of 12 tries required before being considered for the funding. Obviously with no donor in the country and no idea how long before he can come back, that was a less than ideal scenario.

So I was pretty thrilled when he just agreeably said “So you’ve tried 12 cycles have you?” I said yes and that’s what he wrote down. Brilliant, so we have our referral letter, and it also covers my thyroid issues which I hope they will consider relevant.

Hopefully it will do the trick to prove that we’ve had 12 tries at insemination. When I emailed the donor co-ordinator, (at the fertility clinic we’d banked Manaaki’s sperm at), she said we should be eligible after 12 inseminations, but that since they were home insems we had no ‘clinical proof’ they had taken place, so they wouldn’t count. I was a bit dumbfounded and queried how exactly they measured straight couples home attempts? I didn’t get a reply which is probably lucky as I had a whole lot of prepared comedic lines around doctors standing over straight couples ticking off a checklist of how correct their home insemination attempts and ‘equipment’ was. Grrrrr.

So back to the visit with our lovely GP. The only bit that wasn’t so brilliant? When I looked at the referral letter and said “What’s 1* infertility mean?” He replied “Primary infertility.”

Now I do know he needed to write something convincing to get us the referral. But come on. Infertility? Hmmmmph. I’m not sure I want to face that diagnosis. I thought I was just lacking in sperm a lot of the time.

I commented to Toku on the drive home that I wasn’t very happy seeing that written in black and white. She asked what I would have preferred, and I said for him to write “Unlucky so far.” She drily remarked that diagnosis wasn’t very likely to get us any publicly funded IVF.

So yeah. On paper I’m ‘Infertile’. But in my mind we are still just ‘Unlucky so far’, and I’m sticking with that story till proven otherwise!

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