The meeting went really well. Yay. We are still flip flopping between excited and remaining in disbelief that things might be finally going right. But really overall I’m feeling very positive and happy – and that’s such a nice place to be.
I’ve thought of a blog name for him and it’s MaWhero. It means ‘pink’ in Maori. For all his 6’4″ size, total heterosexuality and career as an international sportsman the guy LOVES the colour pink! I’ve never seen a straight man wear it so often and certainly never seen a guy with, (I kid you not), a pale pink bed cover and a hot pink fuzzy blanket folded up on the end!!!
We hung out for a few hours on Friday & all get on really well – lots of laughs when I can understand the thick Jamaican accent he has when him and Toku are making jokes. (Which is a LOT!) Importantly though it’s not all jokes and he’s serious when we talk about the things that need consideration.
The best things to come out of the conversation were that he’s keen to start ASAP, so wants me to book the initial sperm analysis and counselling session for next Wed (just over a week away). He said he’d rather just get it all sorted as quickly as possible and will make himself available for whenever he’s needed. Also, he’s totally chilled and has no shame at all about the process of going into the clinic etc, so that’s great.
He showed us photos of his son (who lives in the UK with his British mother) and the boy is beautiful with hazel green eyes! I have green eyes but had assumed that with a black, dark eyed donor that our baby would automatically get brown eyes – but maybe the hazel / bronze eyes of the baby in my dream months back might just happen.
The other awesome thing, which was a bit of a surprise but also showed us that he’s really thought a lot about it and is very much invested, is that he asked if we would be comfortable if he came to the birth!
It was pretty funny as he framed it up by asking if we would be okay with it since I was a lesbian and ‘no man had seen my pumpum’! We laughed a lot and I apparently blushed when I admitted that a few had lol. I am fine with it and Toku is too. In fact, we are really happy with it as it means to us that he is actually actively imagining a child with us at the end of this process. A child that he wants to be involved with.
He reiterated that the child will be ours but that he’d play what ever role we wanted him to, and if we wanted to drop it off to him to go away for a night or a weekend then that would be fine.
I guess for some the thought of this level of involvement and investment might be the opposite of what they wanted, but for us it’s perfect.
That said I suppose I will be slightly more worried than I had thought I would be, at 9mths pregnant, about shaving my chocha!! Haha.
(I’ve just added a photo of him and us, and a bunch of others, into the password protected album ‘Up Close’. He’s the one in the pink shirt lol. Email me (with your blog name and address) at: joyous crocodile at G mail if you are a regular reader and want the password. The email address is all one word obviously.)