We went, we saw, we chose, we consented!
So today felt like a BIG step forwards. We drove to the city and met with our lovely clinic counsellor who gave us two profiles to read.
One was the Maori donor and one was an Indian donor who the clinic also said was absolutely lovely. We had decided over the weekend and during the last few days wait to consider our options in case the Maori donor didn’t agree.
Toku is about 1/4 Indian, and although doesn’t identify as such, we thought it may be a good back up plan to consider.
So when the clinic came back to us yesterday to say we had consent from the Maori donor, I asked if we could view both profiles to make a comparison and to feel that we were looking at a couple of options.
We carefully considered both profiles and have chose the Maori donor. His profile just resonated with us. He sounds like some of the guys I grew up with, a down to earth, practical kind of guy. But also a man who is deep thinking, articulate and interested in art galleries and history museums (so my cup of tea!). He’s trained as a carpenter, has his skippers license (my dad is a fisherman), trained as a fire fighter (probably volunteer rural fire brigade as they are found all over NZ), and as a driving instructor. So a pretty hands on kind of person.
He’s half Maori (on his mothers side), with his dad a blue eyed, dark haired pakeha (white NZer), so I’m already thinking …. Ohhh a chance of my green eyes showing through!
We talked at length with the counsellor about the fact that they weren’t able to conceive and how that might impact on their willingness to have contact with any child/ren we might conceive. The counsellor assured us that they have had a lot of counselling around it and she was confident that although it will be very hard for the donors wife, she (the wife) has said that she still firmly believes she will not regret their decision to donate.
They wanted to donate as soon as they started their own IVF treatment but the clinic has been super cautious about this and has insisted that they not donate till after they completed their IVF process. After their completion (& inability to have children), they again asked to donate and the clinic told them to wait some more (another 2 years), they had more counselling and then donated. Then the clinic did not make their profile available for selection until a couple of months ago – again leaving a few more months settling time. Add to this the one month we’ve been waiting and the slow and careful decision making process they have undertaken about that and I think it adds up to some very well thought out choices.
We’ve requested that the clinic ask about his iwi (Maori tribe/s) & if they are willing and able to provide a baby or childhood photo of him to us.
Sooooo – we signed all the consent forms and I have all my bloods forms and we are good to go! So funny and weird how the wife had to fill in forms and get blood test forms too. At least they both had female partner on them! We did tease the nurse manager until she blushed when she gave us the incorrect treatment programme standard form that said the clinic would advise us when best to have intercourse LOL! Must’ve been for people doing it the old-skool way but with the addition of monitoring and fertility drugs.
So we will be starting monitoring on my next day 1, which should be in about 10 or 11 days! So only about 3 – 3.5 weeks to wait now to do the IUI!!!!!
I am so very glad that we haven’t had to go to Plan F.
Plan A – Manaaki,
Plan B – MaWhero (1),
Plan C – Koha,
Plan D – MaWhero (2),
Plan E – Maori Donor…
I’m kind of shell shocked and excited and a bit nervous. It’s been a emotionally overwhelming few days, to top off an emotionally exhausting month, to top off an emotionally hideous 4 months, and to top off an emotional roller coaster 3 year ride.
We first got pregnant in mid August 2011, 3 whole years on we will be getting another chance. Hallelujah.