Another limbo-ish Mothers Day here today – heavily pregnant but not ‘there yet’, some grief around the fact that our first baby would have turned 3 years old today had she arrived on her EDD rather than being lost at 12 weeks.
It was however a stunning day weather wise which is always uplifting. We had our 3rd Hypnobirthing class which continues to be fascinating – and one of our exercises was a Fear Release, which I used to do some more work on sadness around our losses. The fear release activity is to allow you to address any conscious or subconscious fears you have that may impact upon your labour. Since two of my lingering images / memories around the loss of my babies are the moments of physically losing them – I was a little worried I may subconsciously try and ‘hold onto’ this boy. Possibly resulting in delayed onset of labour or a long labour. So that was something I wanted to release!
The Hypno is going really well for me as I’ve done a number of sessions of hypnotherapy in the past – so can fairly easily do the different relaxation techniques we are being taught.
It’s making me look forward to giving birth to him.
We are still hoping to do it at home and I have been given a second OB appointment so I can quiz him for some more informative reasons as to why he thinks I shouldn’t have a home birth if my TSH level is not at 0.5. At this stage they’ve just told me it’s unwise – but I need to know why in order to make an informed choice.
We did another exercise today around visualising our birth and were asked to consider how we would experience it, how long our active labour would last, imagine the scene of holding the baby etc. Afterwards the teacher said that if a number came strongly to us during the visualisation we should write it down and check back on it after labour as there was a high incidence of that number being correct for many of her clients. My number was 2 lol. Then I thought about it (while still ‘under hypnosis’) and decided that perhaps 2-3hrs might be a little less rushed! So we’ll see. My mums’ labours were 4 hours and less than one hour. Perhaps we won’t make it to hospital even if we wanted to 😉
After class we went for lunch at a good local cafe, bought my mum a nice cake to go with her gifts (which I won in an online competition) then headed home and I slept for the rest of the afternoon lol.
My sweet wife had ordered us a joint Mother’s Day gift – with me in mind. It’s not yet been delivered and she had a moment of hesitation before telling me about it in case I didn’t like it. But I do! It’s an intricate adults colouring in book called Secret Garden. I love colouring in and often do little pictures for our god daughter and have been drawing up a storm with my coloured pencils of our house plans and room arrangements. She thought it would be a good stress release activity for us once baby boy is here. She so knows me and its a very sweet gift for us to share!
Here’s the link to the artists site:
And a few pics, from her blog, of pages people have coloured:
To finish – here’s my first attempt at a pair of booties for the boy. Super easy to knit. I’ve nearly completed a second pair. These ones are actually a grey colour but the camera flash makes them appear oatmeal coloured.
And finally – the watermelon this morning – 33wks, 6days…