(I just found this in my drafts folder from 18 Nov 2015 so will publish it as is so it’s in my records.)
I’m sorry for my absence from this space. I’ve been following along on my Reader when I get a moment and even making the rare comment too. But have not taken the time to sit down and really write. Of course I now wish I’d written often here so I’d have a record of those heady, crazy, amazing, exhausting early days. But I didn’t so I should stop worrying about what I’ve already forgotten!
My only regrets of this entire period have been not writing down how I’ve felt. However I’ve taken literally thousands of photos and quite a few short videos as I’m desperate to record every part of this amazing journey that I can. I feel sad some days in case he ends up being our only child and so I try and soak up each and every precious moment – and gosh there are a lot of them.
We are planning to try again for a number two. Toku has only just come around to the idea of trying for another. She spent a few months there saying that she didn’t feel like she would want us to have a second. But told me this week that she’s willing for us to try again once he’s about 1.
I started off in two minds as to whether I wanted another…he’s just so special that I wondered if I would be letting him down by getting pregnant while he’s still so young. Pregnancy absolutely took it out of me due to my thyroid condition. I was really shattered pretty much every day for the last 3mths. If I got up, had a shower and cooked breakfast I’d be tired, if I did a job like sweep the floor I’d need a lie down! It really was a major struggle to function.
So I’ve been concerned about how I’d cope with a toddler if it was the same again. But my dear mum (who lives on the same property as us), has said that I’ll have enough energy for loving on the boy and she will help with everything else 🙂
I figure if the boy looks back on it in the future, he’d rather have had a sibling than be worrying about a few less books he had read to him etc.
So we are considering starting to TTC in around June 2016, with the same donor.
That said, I was SO happy to be pregnant that, in the main, I wasn’t miserable. I said once (after something unpleasant and pregnancy related like a bungled blood test, or back pain) “It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Meaning that to be pregnant and have a child was all I’ve ever wanted. We laughed and it stuck. Every time I felt scared or achy or sore one of us would quote it – even me in labour! This continues on to this day – pooey nappy (diaper) … All I ever wanted. Grizzly teething boy…All I ever wanted. Puke down my outfit…All I ever wanted!
So about that delicious boy of ours…
He’s 20 weeks old! My description of him in that first post is pretty much spot on…he’s super chilled out but also alert & bright. He is a mix of very observant and content to sit quietly and really study people and views, books, art etc crossed with very very chatty and loud (but that’s usually when he’s home with just us or my parents). He is soooo sweet natured, he flirts a lot and is super cuddly. He is cheeky as all get out (you Americans call it sassy). He’s a little bit naughty which then morphs into his cheeky smile when he knows you are watching.