About Us

The blog name:

Pepi means baby in Te Reo (my indigenous language)

Bebe is French Kweyol (Creole) for baby in my wife’s language.

We are also blogging about our love for baking, cooking and each other on our foodie blog. Visit Making Love With Food.


A overview as to who we are and our TTC journey…

We are…

– 2 women deeply in love

– TTC our first ‘take home’ baby

– I’m part Maori (indigenous) and part Pakeha (white New Zealander)

– She’s Afro-Caribbean (and totally gorgeous both inside and out)

– We married in Feb 2012 (well to be exact, we are legally Civil Union-ed & will marry at some stage since Marriage Equality passed here in April 2013!)

– 35 (her) and 37 (me)

– We’ve been together since June 2008

– Devastatingly we lost our first two babies at 12 weeks by unexplained miscarriage (hence my desire for a ‘take home live baby’)

– We’ve discovered I have very high levels of anti-thyroid antibodies which are likely to be causing the miscarriages, so we are treating this naturopathically and with acupuncture. The antibodies also cause me to fluctuate between hypothyroid and hyperthyroid. I’ve also gone mainly gluten free as that helps.

– Our donor is my wife’s brother who lives in the Caribbean. He recently (ahhhh not so recently now!) came back into NZ for round two.

Unfortunately his sperm doesn’t thaw well after being frozen, so we cannot use IUI through a clinic or freeze any for when he has to go home. So it’s fresh DIY inseminations only. This puts some pretty major time pressure on events and meant it was doubly devastating when we lost the second baby as we had no money to bring him back for a while and we didn’t know if he’d get a visitor visa again.

– I’ve detoxed and metabolized and supplemented and dietary restricted and meditated daily and accupunctured and hypnotherapied and cranial osteopathed and uterine bathed to the great detriment of our bank account over the last 12 months. (See our TTC JourneyΒ for an update as this was all so very long ago now.)

– The wife is in IT & works from home

– From mid 2012 – early 2014 I took some time out just doing some consulting work after the MC’s, and before that I owned a very demanding tourism company for 7 years. I currently work (supposedly) half time doing fundraising for the the local school and spend the rest of my time on local community development and a Trust board I am on.

– In April 2012 we moved from the city to live on coastal country family land about 1hrs drive away from Auckland (NZ’s largest city).

– We are living semi sustainably off our large permaculture organic fruit and vegie gardens, with chickens for eggs, fishing for fish (obviously), and the local weekly farmers market for expensive treats.

– Life is peaceful and good and we are ready to welcome our babies into it.

UPATE Apr 2013: BIL came back and stayed for 7 months from Oct 12 – Apr 13. We tried over 7 cycles but didn’t get one BFP. He’s now had to return to the Caribbean and we are in the same limbo as last year not knowing if he will be able to come back again, or when.

Update Feb 2014 – We have a new donor (my wife’s cousin who lives in NZ), and are preparing to start IUI’s (fingers crossed) in April 2014!

Update Jul 2014 – The previous donor pulled out at the last minute, we found a new donor – 2 months later he pulled out. We are now looking at an anonymous donor through a fertility clinic…See TTC JourneyΒ for all the gory details.


30 thoughts on “About Us”

  1. Hey! I think we used to follow one another, right? I recognise your blog name (I just came across it in the comments section of another) I used to be sillywrongbutvividright – then I fell off the blogging boat, and climbed back on a couple of months ago as chickshatching. I am SO HAPPY to see you have a little one on the way, stoked for you both! πŸ™‚

  2. Hi Thank you for stopping by to say ‘Hi’ on my blog.
    I’m now following your journey also and wishing you guys all the luck in the world xx

  3. SotOhana said:

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog- I’m excited to start reading yours too! From what you say here, your life in NZ sounds totally idyllic- love the idea of a permaculture farm off the coast. I’ll be praying that you two get to bring a baby into the mix very soon! By the way, have you checked out the queer parenting board over at mothering.com? They have a fantastic community of queer women who are TTC. http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1382609/queer-conceptions-may-2013

    • Thanks so much for the link. We’ve been taking a brief holiday from thinking about TTC so I haven’t joined the group at this stage. It’s a bit depressing to read everyones ups & downs whilst TTC when you can’t even try. But I will get on there one day soon.
      Oh and ‘farm’ is probably a little too lofty for the set up here lol. It’s 8 acres (with farms all around), but ours is mostly native bush (forest) with just some cleared land for the houses and vege gardens & orchard spaces. Oh and we have two annoying chickens that crap everywhere but my parents get the eggs (as they look after them), so we just get the ‘fertilizer’ hehe.

  4. Wow! You are my kind of people! And you sound like two people who really deserve to be parents. I hope it works out for you SOON. ❀

  5. Hello! I’m not sure how I found you but glad I did! I’m now going back to read the older stuff…

  6. Thanks for your message! I look forward to sharing your journey into motherhood!!!! xxx

  7. I’m so glad you visited my blog! I love finding folks with similar journeys to commiserate with. Although you both have a few extra hoops you have to go through to try to conceive. I wish you the best of luck, and I’m looking forward to reading more!

    • Yep I’m exactly the same- hence why I started blogging. It’s a wonderful community. I’m ovulating at present so hopefully in a couple of weeks I’ll be blogging about betas too! I have another blog too: http://www.makinglovewithfood.wordpress.com it’s about cooking, baking and love makin’ (not in the biblical sense!) Mind you, you’ll have enough reading to do if you go back over some of my posts just on this one. If you need a weep visit the Sweet Dreams post, or the poems page and look for the sad ones. If you want a laugh then go visit the ‘chrooster’ one.

    • Yep I’m exactly the same- hence why I started blogging. It’s a wonderful community. I’m ovulating at present so hopefully in a couple of weeks I’ll be blogging about betas too! I have another blog too: http://www.makinglovewithfood.wordpress.com it’s about cooking, baking and love makin’ (not in the biblical sense!) Mind you, you’ll have enough reading to do if you go back over some of my posts just on this one. If you need a weep visit the Sweet Dreams post, or the poems page and look for the sad ones. If you want a laugh then go visit the ‘Chrooster & Young Patch’ one.

  8. AndiePants said:

    Hi! I’m so glad you stopped by and said hello so I could start reading YOUR blog! I love getting to know other stories and share the nuances of this crazy adventure with people all across the world!
    You all sound like fabulous folks- so excited to hear about your agricultural life as we just recently moved to a home where we have a quarter acre of land (not much in the big scheme of things but quite a lot for the city where we live) and I’m excited about the planting and growing we are planning and even getting a few chickens soon!
    Thanks for your encouragement, experience and perspective. I’m so so sorry some of that expertise came about through such tragic loss. I send you much love and luck that a full term pregnancy is just around the corner.

    So excited to read about your adventures!

    • That’s very cool that you liked my blog too – and thanks for following! I haven’t done any password protected posts yet, but do have a password protected photos page (in the menu bar under the title Up Close). So if you want access to them then email me at pepibebeblogger at g mail dot com
      As for our agricultural lfe, we are really just tagging along on my wonderful hippy parents lifestyle in many ways. They own both the chooks and the dehydraters, however the home made soaps and skin care are our own. The massive permaculture garden is a shared mission.
      Thanks for your sweet message and I look forward to seeing ya round so to speak.

  9. You two seem fantastic! I am wishing you all the best in your TTC journey. My partner’s best friend moved to NZ about three years ago and we are starting the planning of visiting her at the end of this year!!! She lives in Auckland. Maybe we can get together if/when we arrive : ) I look forward to reading your story!

    • Hi πŸ™‚ Thanks for the sweet comments. We live about an hour North of Auckland but travel down there most weeks, so you never know. How come your friend relocated here? Is she gay too?

  10. Hello! Thank You so much for stopping by One Day Baby P. It is so nice to have people out there following along. I am sorry that you have lost two babies. I know that must be very painful. I hope you are holding up with the timing of your wife’s brother coming into town. That must be such an added stress in getting the timing right. I think it’s amazing that your wife’s brother is donating for you two. We had hoped my brother would donate for us but he’s not comfortable with that.
    I will be following along on your journey and sending you lots of baby dust!

    • Thanks πŸ™‚ The bad news with her brother is that he lives in the Caribbean and we live in New Zealand and needs very expensive flights and troublesome visas to get here. The good news is that he got his last visa fine and is staying from Oct – mid Feb. So we’ve used up two tries but should have 3 more before he leaves. Therefore is not the timing that’s usually tricky, just the time pressure of hoping we get pregnant (& that it sticks) during the few months he is here. If it doesn’t work then we’ll be frantically saving up for his next lot of tickets and hoping he’s approved for a visitor visa for a third time!
      Good fishing with your attempts. It’s great to have another couple to follow along.

  11. I am so happy that you found me so that I, in turn, could find you!

    While I am very sorry to hear of your losses, I do have faith that you and your wife will create the family you long for! I know that it is a long and hard journey, but it will happen!!!

  12. Hello and welcome to the blogosphere. I clicked here from LFCA as I still check in there every now and again despite being, luckily, “out of the TTC woods”. Your posting caught my eye as my best friend is soon to be marrying the woman of her dreams and they will embark on trying to conceive in the future. I was hoping by reading your story, I may be better able to help support them in their journey.

    I still blog, but as I said, I’m finished TTC so I understand if you don’t follow me and/or read due to my phase in life.

    You write beautifully and your photos show a beautiful life you’ve built together. I have no doubt that you’ll also add a child to your lives soon.

    Be well.

    • Hi,
      Thanks so much for taking the time to write, and for the lovely words you chose to use!
      I went and had a peep at a couple of pages of your blog and if the rest is as entertaining as the ‘about’ page then I’ll be sure to follow.
      I’m hoping that our TTC journey won’t be for too long and that we’ll graduate into trying to cope instead!
      Please point your friends in my direction and that of the other blogs I follow, which are mostly lesbian families or other couples TTC. Finding this community has been immensely helpful for me and it may be for them as well.
      Tell them to let me know they are Oak’s friends.
      On that note, you are a sweetheart for reading blogs that will give you insight into how TTC may be for them. Your friend is lucky to have you.
      Enough gushing πŸ˜‰

  13. Hi, ladies, I got here through LFCA. I’m so sorry for your two devastating losses and I hope that you are able to make a take home baby soon.
    I hope the treatments are able to deal with your thyroid issues. Your life and surroundings sound wonderful. Congrats on being civil unionized and I hope parliament votes for marriage soon!
    Nice to find your blog:)

  14. airgirl2003 said:

    I am so sorry for your losses and I wish you the best. Lots of baby dust to you and your wife and I look forward to hearing your stories as we share in this crazy adventure of TTC. πŸ™‚

  15. Hi there! Thanks for stopping by our blog and leaving such nice comments πŸ™‚ I really need to update – it’s been awhile! I look forward to following along on your journey!!!

  16. SOunds like an amazing situation to bring your babies into. Fingers crossed for you! πŸ™‚

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