So I just texted Koha (our new donor) to make sure that he made his counselling appointment with the fertility clinic today (he’s super busy and dis-organised and had forgotten the two previously booked ones). He replied that he had and that the counsellor was a lovely lady but that he had to book another session in after he’d had discussion with his kids, K….. (the woman we thought was his ex), and us.
His ‘ex’ is the main reason we’d never asked him as we knew that she wouldn’t agree with it for a minute as she is very jealous of our relationship with him. We only asked him when we found out that they were permanently broken up – after a long period of being off and on he’d sworn off her, or so we believed. He said in our initial meeting with him that it wouldn’t have mattered what she said, but we explained that if the clinic knew he had a partner then she would have to accompany him to counselling.
So when we replied ‘K…..?’ He said ‘Yea…She in the mix and I have not spoken to her and F….(the Counsellor) said I should!’
Argh. This is potentially really bad news. I’m not so worried about what he might need to talk to us about, I think his kids would be okay with it and was surprised when he decided to only tell them after I was 12 weeks, but her…? F*%k!
Update – he’s also let us know that the counsellor advised he discuss it with his ex-wife before telling their 3 teenage kids. He wants to meet with us before doing all that, so we are off to the city on Sunday for a big talk.
Toku reckons he’s not going to change his mind and that even if he takes K to the counselling session it’s still ultimately up to him.
I hope he also feels that blood is thicker than (good looking manipulative) water!
Send us good vibes please.